It's Not Delivery.... It's....

not Digornio either... but I am thinking Pizza!

Should I eat pizza or get on the treadmill?

This is where I like to make pro/con lists.

Panormous Pizza
Pro: It's pizza. Umm. Yum.
Con: It will make my ass even more A-normous!

Treadmill
Pro: It will help reduce what the Panormous Pizza has done to my ass.
Con: It's not pizza.

I mean really, after reading the pros and cons, there was no more contemplation.. the words decided for me! Pizza it is! Seriously, what if pizza goes out of circulation tomorrow? I'll be pretty damn sorry that I didn't get one last taste! The treadmill appears to be fairly stationary. ;)

The Heart of a Bear!

Workout 1 - REDO! Brisk five-minute warm up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

3:13:00pm - Start!

3:18:00pm - Walk briskly for 5 minutes, complete. Silver Star (3.00MPH.)

3:19:00pm - Run for 60 seconds, done. Gold Star (5.00MPH is good enough for me, and Bobby McGee!)

3:20:30pm - Walk for 90 seconds, bingo. Gold Star (2.00MPH)

3:20:50pm - Breathing really hard. Wheezing. Sweating.

3:21:30pm - Run for 60 seconds, achieve! Gold Star. (5.00MPH)

3:23:00pm - Walk for 90 seconds, conclude. Gold Star. (2.00MPH)

3:23:40pm - Hurts to breath. Want to curse. Want to cry. Maybe I am? I can't see.... Sweat (or tears? Maybe it's blood!?) in eyes.

3:23:50pm - The devil is camping out in my lungs building a bonfire.. Lungs burn!

3:24:00pm - Run for 60 seconds, annihilated! Gold Freaking Star. (5.00MPH)

3:25:30pm - You're effing crazy if you think I'm increasing the speed past 2.00MPH, you know what.. just to show you how serious I am, I'm dropping the speed to 1.80MPH.

3:26:30pm - Imagine a bear chasing you and you'll run faster? I'll be damned if that's true! I make a mean porridge, you moron! Eff off.

3:26:59pm - I give up. You win.

I ate Cheerios for lunch. Pretty sure those will counter-balance the heart attack looming from the extra weight I have settled around my midsection.

Eatercise!

So.. I just had a big ole workout on my jaw. Yep. Had the BEST DINNER EVER (a Vegetarian Big Mac (grilled cheese with pickle slices and thousand island dressing)) in place of the workout I was supposed to do last night and TONIGHT!

Looks like I'm right on course.........









for 5k runnin' disaster. ;)

Forecast is calling for me to head back into work after a while, and truth be told, I would rather have please my tummy over that God forsaken treadmill.

Surely I can't put off exercising forever.. .......












Or can I? (Guess you'll have to check back and see!)

There's Always Tomorrow...

... because well, I didn't quite make it to the workout tonight.

Just got off work, AND NO, it's not because I got into work late.. or even that I took an abnormally long lunch break. Everything was going like a regularly scheduled program (you know, one of the "after these messages, we'll be riiiigght back." kinda good days.) when the IT tech and I decide to run a "really quick and easy patch" for our timekeeping software.

One of the beavers musta chewed right through the dam, cause... DAAAAAmMMMMNNN did we have a mess on our hands.

We worked straight through until 9:45pm.. Okay, I (big emphasis on the I!) worked straight through. The little skinny, widget of a dude apparently thought he needed to stop to eat or he might pass out (seriously, dude weighs less than my bra!). I kid, I kid. Mad props to him for being so entertaining & helpful throughout the process that made me completely unheart our timekeeping software techs!!

So, he ran to El Quiero Taco Bell while I drank some water (I figured the least I could do was not eat.. since apparently I would be for-going my evening of treadmill torture.).

So, I'll be back tomorrow.. hopefully with the encouraging words resembling, "I kicked that workout's ass like it was my sister after she hid my Halloween candy!"

Uno Ugghho!

Workout 1 - Brisk five-minute warm up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

Let me do a little recappage for you all....

7:55:00pm - Find shirt, sweats and socks to wear... dig in closet for workout shoes.

7:57:00pm - A little winded from that process.. not gonna lie. I'm sitting in a chair catching my breath.

8:00:00pm - Turn on treadmill, 3.20 MPH.. No problem. I OWN THIS WORKOUT!

8:05:00pm - Increase speed to 5.00 MPH.. I got this. You are my bitch, workout!

8:05:30pm - I can do this. I can do this.

8:05:58pm - Sweating & breathing heavy.

8:06:00pm - Reduce speed to 2.50 MPH. Oh how I love you sweet SLOW treadmill.

8:07:28pm - O.M.G.. It's almost time to increase speed.. I just got my breathing back to normal.

8:07:30pm - Increase speed to 5.00 MPH. Not bad.

8:07:45pm - 15 seconds down.. 60 minus 15.. how many seconds are left??

8:08:00pm - halfway done.. halfway... can't breath. must concentrate on deep breaths.

8:08:25pm - Might die. Heart hurts. Calves burning. Can't breath. Sweat in eyes.

8:08:30pm - Sweet baby of the Immaculate Mary thank you for turning the clock.. Reduce speed to 2.20 MPH. I hope this never ends...

8:09:55pm - NO! Only 5 seconds left. I.Hate.You.5.00MPH.

8:10:00pm - Increase speed to 5.00 MPH. Hard. SOOO hard to breath.

8:10:15pm - Sweat in eyes. Burns. Eyes. Calves. Heart. Lungs. EVERYTHING BURNS!

8:10:35pm - Passing out is probable. Vomiting is probable. Finishing is not likely.

8:10:55pm - Reduce speed to 2.00 MPH.8:11:00pm - Still can't breath. Reduce speed to 1.80MPH. Still not better. Want to lay down. Want lungs to stop burning.

8:12:30pm - Not ready to run again. Maybe I can walk a little longer.

8:13:30pm - Dear Devil, You win! Sweaty Snuggles, Karla.

So, that's it. The workout beat me.

I should have been walking/running until the clock struck 8:25:00pm. I was 11:30minutes shy of success.

If workout 1 had been successful, I would have waited until Friday to try again.. Apparently I need to train harder.. Tomorrow, I will own you like you're my College Temp, Workout!

From the Floor to Five(k)!

So, apparently there is a program a girl can do that takes her from the COUCH (mine might take longer than expected because, I fear, I'm even more out of shape than a couch. I'm much closer to having the stamina of a floor. No heavy lifting has been done with these legs for quite some time.) to running a 5k (for all you people out there who don't know what I'm talking about, that's a distance "race".. And, nope, I'm not talking about running from the police because I just stole a 5k diamond, no ma'am, I'm not! - the "k" stands for kilometers.. Want to know what that means in not-so-cool girl (by cool girl, I mean, girls that DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL A KILOMETER REALLY IS!) lingo..

Here is the conversion...

1 kilometer = 0.621371192 miles
which means.....
5 km = 3.10685 miles.

Awesome, huh?

So, by the end of this, I plan on being able to run 3.10685 miles! You bet your big flabby ass (don't worry, I'm betting MINE too!) I do!)

Here's the website I'm following (like a little chubby donkey who has picked up a Twinkie scent)!http://mindplunge.com/c25k/c25k.html

It's a 9 week program.3 workouts a week (ranging from 20-30 minutes). Ending with, ME running 3 miles in 30 minutes (we'll see)!